
It’s a long way to travel so I extended the trip for a couple of weeks and visited a few other parts of India. Varanasi was the last stop before heading back to the UK. I’d heard lots about Varanasi from friends who are from India or who had been to India. It seemed to be a place that people had really strong opinions about - either magical, surreal and mind-blowing, or alternatively intense, moving and emotional. Either way, I felt a pull to visit and observe the rituals that take place there. Located along the River Ganges, Varanasi has hosted Hindu cremations for thousands of years. Dotted along the river are the ancient Ghats – the sites where cremations take place. It’s said that the fire which they use in the cremations, The Eternal Flame Of Benares, has not been extinguished for 5000 years. The city is incredibly important to the Hindu beliefs around death and reincarnation and I felt a real curiosity to visit and see the city.
Bodies are brought to Varanasi from far and wide and the families take a few days to prepare for the ceremony – special wood is ordered, silks are purchased, and flowers are bought. The cremations take place publicly by the River Ganges and the families watch on as their relative is cremated.
I think what moved me most was simply being in a space to observe another person’s mourning. It is one of the most deeply intimate processes we experience as humans and I found it incredibly moving, emotional and at times slightly overwhelming. What also affected me was the lack of visible emotion from the families, which I learnt has a very distinct purpose attached to it. It is believed that for the process of reincarnation to stop, the soul must leave the body during cremation. If the soul witnesses the love and emotion of its family members then the soul will have reason to stay with the body. Therefore, the family members who are present at the cremations are not able to show emotion and cry.
I found observing strangers go through the most intimate of human experiences a bit too much at times and found myself being drawn to other parts of the city where death was less on the surface.
As well as there being a beauty to the flowers. There was also a real beauty to the farmers and the way they dressed. It almost felt like their clothing mirrored the colours and tones of the flowers. There was a real sensitivity to the way they picked up the flowers, the shapes their hands took up, and their form as they rested in-between sales. I had the idea in the back of my mind about photographing the farmers almost as though they were flowers.
Despite the delicacy and sensitivity to their clothing and form, there was also a distinct toughness to their negotiations and conversations. Like with most markets, there was a real performance and volume to the proceedings. Sometimes discussions would be swift and civil, but sometimes bartering took hours as the farmer and buyers openly argued and negotiated the flowers’ best price.

I think what also drew me to spend my time in the market was the overwhelming emotions around connected to death that consumed much of the city. Many of the pilgrims and people in the city are there to cremate their loved ones, many of the traditions are centred around last rites, and it felt like the flower market was somewhat a respite from the mourning.
The flower market was full of life, vibrant colours, rich smells, noise and emotion as well as a humour and love that was shared between the farmers. They attend the market every day and there was a real sense of community and familiarity that I was able to observe. This warmth and life in the market felt very much at odds with the rest of the city. So, as well as being an aesthetic pull I think there was very much an emotional pull.
I don’t want to tell them what to feel or how to fill in the gaps and that’s the power (or flaw) of photography - there is a lot left in between the images.
I want the work to have a sensory impact first of all. And then I’m interested to learn what story or meaning the work has for people who see it and how they fill in the gaps between the images.
I think I’m fascinated by relationships between humans and the natural world that have existed for thousands of years. There is such a distinct importance and value attached to the flower in India. And I think personally and in my wider work I’m fascinated by the variety of ways we find our place in the world. Nature was once all that we had and all that we derived our understanding from. It was the source of all our knowledge and I’m interested in this ancient connection we have with it even in these most modern times.
I’m personally drawn to nature. Whether it’s a bird passing my window, a tree shooting new leaves, or flowers given to me as a gift. And I think I find value and purpose in observing how others relate to the world.

When I make portraits of people, my ideal situation would be to always photograph them in a natural landscape that is deeply important to them. A place where they have beautiful memories, feel safe, and where they have found wonder in the past. I think instantly this kind of connection allows there to be a deeper layer in a portrait.
So maybe my answer would be photography that remains playful. Rinko Kawauchi is another example. Her practice for me cannot be defined but what is consistent is a real playfulness and originality and lack of being worried to experiment. I feel the same can be said about Stephen Gill. He feels to completely switch up style, approach and aesthetic with each project. It’s that endless playfulness within their practices that excites me, and it is playful photography that I would say is my favourite style.
The collective mourning was also something fascinating. Many families were dealing with the last rites together and at the same time at the ghats. This is distinctly different to the way I’ve experienced mourning – quietly, independently, privately. But experiencing mourning collectively, directly and openly in Varanasi made the process seem less independent, less lonely, less isolating. There can definitely be something to take from this. I also think seeing the care and love that was part of the last rites and the way the bodies are treated was also deeply beautiful and that care made me feel a lot of hope and warmth.
Observing the flower market and shooting this project had less of a transformative impact. But I think I simply just found complete joy in the process of making photographs in the flower market. I loved every second of observing that space, interacting with the farmers and making my own response to it. And despite that not making me reflect on my own life, it just confirmed to me that I feel completely fulfilled, joyous and a great sense of purpose learning about people and their place in the world through making photographs.















