LustSickPuppy

Unhinged, feral, bliss.

The name started off as a Instagram handle with no real thought put into it except “oh that’s cute,” and then when I started hosting parties a few years ago, people would put me on the flyer as “LustSickPuppy” and I was like – oh, I guess this is me now (laughs). I definitely didn't know it would stick and definitely had no idea how far I would take it. When I started making music I thought I’d lean into the puppy aspect of it a bit more, walking on leashes, wearing things with puppies on it. It was cute and I wanted the BITCH aspect of it to be understood. Conceptually, LustSickPuppy became the reaction to all life had to throw at me, all that I have to say to it, to everyone and to myself.

Long, hard, exhausting, but absolutely worth the experience. This was my third time on tour; ever and in the year. The first started with Dorian Electra early in the year, with Candy over the summer and finally with Machine Girl. It definitely felt like a boss battle, being the longest tour I’ve gone on so far. But Machine Girl is such a wild high-energy band, I had to make sure I could keep up, stamina and energy wise. I didn't want the crowd to be like “who cares about this dumb opener, we came to see the headliner!” I wanted to make sure I left them with a memorable experience and an all around fun show they would never forget – beginning to end. It wasn’t too challenging since they were hungry for it, but overall we all had a ground shaking blast together.
I really enjoy being on tour because being from New York, I am super privileged to play to various queer communities, to all types of people who have a bit more access to these things because our city is so full of it. But in other cities, their music scenes are not as big and not as widely represented. I love meeting queer outcasts around the country and seeing how far this culture travels. It's so fun seeing that music subcultures look the same; with how people dress, their beliefs, the love they share for each other, and their passion for wild music. Music really does connect us all and it's so beautiful to be a part of that, and see how many of us there are all over the place.

Music has always had a huge influence on my life: from singing in choirs as a kid, to watching musicals with my parents and even being my lifeguard as I avoided drowning in the sea of life. Music always kept me afloat and allowed me to escape. I had some music experience writing songs, reading sheet music, but never really took it seriously. I was super inspired coming into the underground breakcore, gabber scene in Brooklyn. I’d felt for a long time I had a lot of words swirling in my head and a weight of emotion sitting on my chest. And finally I was like, I have something to say and I’m going to fucking say it. Scream it even.
I spent a couple of years learning how to produce, putting out music, playing shows to get my footing. Learning how to get better by listening to artists that inspired me, listening to mentors, going to shows, seeing how certain artists captivated a crowd, studying, adapting, spending time alone improving, getting deeper in my process, being vulnerable, being raw, being chaotic. Allowing the process to flow out of me and learning how to tame it so that it makes sense. So that it could be taken in. It’s really all a tangible manifestation of the thoughts and feelings that live in me, looking for a place to live in the outside world. I’m just allowing it to be what it wants to be, so that I don’t have to walk around with it all the time. That type of stuff gets heavy after a while.

I’m really inspired by Tank Girl, 80s glam, 80s horror movies and BDSM culture. If it's leather and studded, I love it. I also take a lot of style inspiration from the 90s rave scene, and vintage Fruits Magazine. I love blending super colourful patterns and textures with darker, monster-esque imagery. I love a good corset, baroque inspired look, mixed with fairy imagery. A lot of my clothing is hand-made by me, or made custom for me, which allows me to cater to an aesthetic that is specific to me and not easily recreated.
Some of my favourite looks I’ve done are the muscle-suit character Mike Oochie I made for my Ego Bruiser music video, and the middle finger prosthetic look I made for halloween this year. I also am obsessed with these insane pink, stuffed animal covered boots LilDogCo made me! Anything that caters to a fantasy. It’s fun to be an over the top tacky character. Being tacky gets a bad rep, but I think the more outrageous the better. Life can get pretty monotonous, why not customise yourself for the fun of it?

My music is my diary, as clichéd as it may sound. But life is full of clichés as we fight to solve the same issues or and over, so using my art to process life makes living it just a bit easier. It’s my subconscious having a ball, opening the doors to the feelings I suppress. It allows me to express the things that may not be easy to articulate in everyday life. It’s the confidence I wish I had to be confrontational in situations that deserved it. It’s the response to my experiences, that I often have to feel and don’t get to fully process.
When I’m making music, it often feels like I’m feeding my Digital Audio Workstation a prompt fuelled by whatever emotion I’m feeling at the time. Sometimes it’s sad and it’s slower and darker. Other times its coming home fucked up after a party, which can start off fast paced and chaotic, and mellow out as I slip back into a normal mental state, remembering my surroundings, the room ceasing to spin, and accepting with heavy eyes that it’s time for bed. It’s kind of an audio log of whatever is going on with me in that current moment.

I would say it’s pretty accurate, with limitations and acknowledgement of the performance of it all. The act of painting a smiley face being a visual representation of having to smile through life, accepting it, and pretending to be okay with it all. As true as that may be to how I feel all the time, the artistry in making it a part of my performance creates a character out of that feeling, which can sometimes make people forget its intention. It’s a lot more than just makeup. Its juxtaposition with the heavy and darker message in the music is meant to capture that dichotomy. It’s important to me to not let that be a gimmick, and although it aids in a performative experience, the feelings surrounding it are very very real.

Missy Elliott will always be that queen for me. Her style, her sound and her visual representation was always so cool to me growing up. I just love seeing Black women be weird, eccentric and not limiting their art or reducing their creativity. It definitely helped inspire my music videos and my visual language. Real boss energy. Today, yesterday and forever.

It’s funny because I don’t really know what hyper-pop is or what it’s meant to sound like. Not that it caters to one sound, but any time my music gets labelled as that I’m like… Is it? Ok, I guess! (Laughs). It’s definitely not a conscious choice, in fact Might B is a remix of an older, Soundcloud released track called, Oh Well Stupid Bitch, which has since been deleted. I gave it a more upbeat tempo that I think reflects my production skills now versus the original from 3 years ago. In general, my newer music doesn’t follow one genre and caters to a wild combination of influences. So maybe I am moving in that direction? It’s not really up to me to label it as such. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

I am trying to let people get a glimpse at my over active sometimes overwhelming imagination. When I close my eyes sometimes, it's so colourful and a whole world exists in there, I wish I could hold someone’s hand and let them see it just a little bit. Sometimes I don’t even know how so much could exist in my brain. I want nothing more but to get close to sharing that experience with others. So much of that involves these characters I put in my videos. They exist in me as they want to and I try to get them to exist as close to their truth in this world too. I never want to make art that feels human, that feels like a Tuesday, that feels like getting the mail. I want to make art that catches people off guard. Make them stop and look and wonder what the fuck they are looking at. To see life from a different perspective.

My newest single Ride It was produced by Machine Girl and has been in my sets for a couple of years now. It is one of my favourite parts of the set because the song slows down for a second and I slowly survey the crowd, double middle-fingers up, with the chant “Middle finger up bitch ride it” distortedly taunting the crowd before speeding back up and sending the song off.
I’m working on a new project, either an EP or an album, (I haven't decided yet!) I will say it is some of my best work yet and will be out early 2023. I definitely want to make more clothing and more one of one pieces, capsule collections. I want people to be fitted in the coolest LustSickPuppy gear I can make for everyone, with a soundtrack to go along with it!