I'm in a moment in which I am allowing myself to create music more freely, without aiming to produce an album (contrary to what I’ve been doing for the past 7 years or so). For a while there I was wondering if music was actually the career I wanted to pursue, if this was still for me, my thing. I had lost motivation for making music, touring. Going to the studio meant stress and pressure, not creativity, expression or art. I felt like I had to fulfil expectations, and music production slowly became a must instead of a want. Touring became unbearable, even though I was not touring with a super crazy frequency of 2 months in a row every day like some artists, but more like 1–2 days a week. But it was just too stressful. I had no energy to do it any more, nor (and this was the scariest feeling) motivation. I didn’t enjoy it at all. The shows were not going too well, I had put a lot of effort in the creation of special outfits, stage design, lots of money invested, and I felt like I was not getting anything in return. I felt really sad and empty. I even got physically ill because of tour related stress and had to cancel some gigs. For the first time. This was definitely a sign that something had to change.
After the whole 2022 tour year I travelled back to Argentina in December, like I do every year, to also tour, escape the Berlin winter, see family, work a bit there and take some time off, and now mostly to give all of this some real thought. Maybe it was time for a change in my career and to do something else. Fortunately after some time I realised that music is still what I love. I'm very passionate about it, I love making it, thinking of ideas, planning, experimenting. But it was the way I was doing it that had to change. I was lucky enough to be able to allow myself that change. That change meant not having to push myself to make another album right away this year or the next, allowing myself to experiment more, working with a manager, and changing plenty of the things regarding the way I navigate touring.
I also realised that it is important for me to keep on learning, studying, and also to take the constant focus from music. I was always interested in psychology, counselling, and somehow supporting artists with the knowledge I've gathered working in the music industry all this time. So, I started studying psychology a little, and doing some courses about lyric writing. This automatically woke me up and brought me back from that swampy empty place I was in. Doing something else allowed me to enjoy making music more. As well as not having to make it for a particular reason. Just because I wanted to. If an album comes out of this or doesn’t is not in my mind at all at the moment.