I’m 16, I’m an aspiring artist. I have a cat. I really enjoy being pretentious, and currently I’m really into worrying about my future.

It’s a beautiful country, and it’s got such an amazing art history, but being alive right now gets a bit much sometimes, especially with the coronavirus and the never ending stream of [problems in] politics. There is an absence of hope, and many people feel this way, not just teenagers.

Most of my subjects are far away from what’s going on in the real world, but not disconnected from it. The world my characters inhabit is kind of post-apocalyptic with red skies and constant violence. But the thing is, for many right now that is their reality, so it’s young girls experiencing that world, but also my fears, yet at the same time they are far away. It's about experiencing this sickening sort of loneliness. As for the self harm, I like to imagine that my subjects don’t feel pain, and they’re opening themselves up out of this morbid curiosity and displaying themselves as living cadavers.

I am going very much insane. This current state of the pandemic is frightening. Even though schools are open, I’m hearing of 17,000 cases being reported every day, and so many deaths. With all this, how are people supposed to go to work and school. Shouldn’t we mourn? To me, this is inhumane. But I really can't speak about lockdown since I technically haven’t been isolated from friends due to seeing them everyday at school.
Art can definitely play a therapeutic role, especially if you’re a bit closed and finding words to describe situations is hard for you. Here, in Russia, therapy is taboo, many people don’t believe it works or they see it as a waste of money. It’s hard to find a therapist that’s affordable and highly qualified. For teenagers it’s also hard to get your parent's permission, some also need therapists that are LGBT friendly, and God knows few can ask their parents for such a thing.

I love Surrealism, Magritte is definitely an inspiration. I don’t remember a specific moment when I got fascinated by Surrealism, I think it’s been there since my childhood. I remember watching Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared on YouTube when I was younger, maybe that has something to do with it. A lot of morbid things fascinated me as a child, instead of making me turn me away. I’m not well versed in art history, that’s not something I’ve looked into. Of course, there have been famous paintings that have really stayed with me, for example Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth or works by Miyoko Ito and Agnes Martin.

I grew up kind of a Christian, I didn't go to church but I did believe in God and all of that, then I spent a year at a religious school where I did read parts of the Bible. Christianity can be quite interesting and beautiful, I visited St. Petersburg a while back and the churches there were lovely. Maybe I would have gone into it naturally had it not been instilled into me.

I do almost everything digitally, I like to keep my digital art separate from my traditional paintings, at most I sketch future ideas on paper. I love working analogue, but it is a less forgiving medium so I don’t paint traditionally as often.

It’s not really escapism, and it’s funny because I like to think of my art as quite impersonal, but looking back, it’s quite obvious that I'm not completely detached. My art is in my own way to reflect on world events. It’s important to stay grounded right now with the constant flow of information, really keep an open mind and stay away from making idols of people. I’ve kind of become a pessimist during these last few years, but there are moments of real hope.

None of my portraits have been of people that exist, unless they are fan-art. I do use references, mostly of runway models, but the characters themselves only exist in my head. I think a lot of portrait artists draw characters that are a bit too ‘pretty’, and I am guilty of that myself, so right now I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone and not fall into the same clichés. I get inspired by everything, I don’t really seek inspiration out and sometimes I go for weeks without getting excited about anything but when it’s there - it’s there.

I have a couple movies that I would like to shoot, I really can’t see myself doing anything but something artistic in the future, there’s really only three things that interest me - art, philosophy and politics and a lot of my favourite pieces of art are the ones in which they’re heavily interconnected. I still am finding myself and figuring out what I want with my art, what subjects interest me. Hopefully one days I’ll be able to debut a film.