Vivian Wilson

There is something fascinating about Vivian Wilson: her bubbly personality, her sporadic, out-of-the-blue comments, her natural sense of humour. Talking to her is as refreshing as it is unpredictable: one moment we’re discussing greedy corporations and the next, her love for “League of Legends” (and her rejection of toxic players). But most of the conversation constantly revolves around politics and the current situation in the United States, where she was born and raised, and whose current government has a target in mind: trans people. Well, clearly not the only one, as almost every marginalised community is now under fire, but if you’ve been following the news, you’ll understand that trans people are in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

Interview taken from METAL Magazine issue 53. Adapted for the online version. Order your copy here.

Precisely because of that hateful narrative surrounding the community, Vivian is the perfect example to embody tenderness as rebellion: she’s kind, she’s funny, and above all, she combats hatred with love. By using her platform and growing fame, she’s helping hundreds of LGBTQ+ people to embrace their identities and live their truth. “Don’t let anyone tell you shit! You are that bitch; you will forever be that bitch. Show them,” she says in this interview to encourage anyone who’s reading to not dim their inner light. She did so for a bit, but it was too powerful to be restrained.

At just twenty-one, Vivian is starting to make her way into the world via magazine covers, fashion campaigns, unhinged TikTok videos, sporadic drag performances, and runway shows. This past season, she debuted at both New York and Paris fashion weeks, strutting down the runway like a glamazon. But don’t be fooled: she’s not your average, arrogant fashion person with her head in the clouds; she can also get geeky discussing her favourite characters and video games and then jump into political commentary to later land on a funny story about a guy breaking the law to take a picture with her. That chaos is what makes Vivian so fresh and genuine, and also so likable. Today, we’re lucky enough to meet her.

Dress PRADA.

Hi Vivian, it’s a pleasure to speak with you. You just turned twenty-one this year, which legally marks becoming an adult in the United States. How did you celebrate?

How did I celebrate my twenty-first birthday? I don’t know if I did anything, to be honest. I don’t remember at all. I just chilled.

That’s cool. Let’s go back in time a bit. High school is usually a hard time for queer folk. It’s when we’re finding out our identity, sexuality, exploring our desire, and confronting hate for the first time for being who we are. What was your time like at Crossroads? I expect your classmates were a bit more liberal than in other places.

Yeah, people at my high school were generally more accepting, although that was definitely not the rule. I did face some backlash for my transition and what I’ve done. But overall, I would say it’s more on the left — just because California is. But I don’t think it’s any different politically than most other schools in Los Angeles. It was a weird high school because the students were a colourful cast of characters, I’m just going to say that.

There was a queer student union there, which you joined. How was that experience? Is this where you linked up with other queer people for the first time?

Yeah, those were the first queer people I ever met, to be honest. That was a cool experience. It helped me learn more about queer culture, we went to queer events and shit like that on the weekends sometimes. It also sort of helped me find more confidence in my own queerness, especially because it’s high school and everything sucks. Everyone is going through their own moments. So, it was nice to have that experience. We had movie nights, and one of my jobs was to make the posters. That’s a good memory I have.

Trans stories a lot of the time involve rejection and self-hate — about their bodies, the gendered and social norms imposed on people to follow, and so on. What was your relationship like with yourself before transitioning?

Bad. It was not great. My relationship with myself before transitioning was rough. Gender dysphoria is a bitch and a half. It was not a great point in my life. But we’re better now. I’m in a really good place in terms of gender, in terms of transition and self-identity and my own self-confidence.

Do you feel that you’re kinder to yourself and to others now?

I feel like everyone wants to think they’re kind, so I guess it’s on everyone else to determine whether that person is kind, right?

Right.

That was weirdly philosophical (laughs). Anyway, yeah, I’ve definitely been kinder to myself, I reckon. I am sort of a perfectionist though. Well, in some aspects. If I’m filming a stupid TikTok video, more of a clown-esque thing, and the point of the joke is that it’s camp and over the top and not perfect, then I’m like, whatever, it’s fine. The jankiness adds to the charm. But if it’s something I’m serious about, then I am very much a perfectionist in my opinion.

You use social media very freely: you go from these clown-esque unhinged videos you just mentioned, to more serious posts that advocate for trans rights or other marginalised communities’ rights. Do you put a lot of thought behind that?

It’s more about whatever I’m in the mood for. If there is a topic that I need to talk about because I can add something to the conversation, and it’d be a really good chance to educate my audience, I feel like educating is a bit patronising.

Enlighten them?

No, not enlighten! Teach something new to my audience or give them a new perspective, then I’ll make a serious video. But if there’s something else that I think would be funny, then I’ll make a comedy video. My TikTok page is just me doing whatever the fuck I want. That’s pretty much it.

Our current issue’s concept is Tenderness is the New Punk. First of all, do you agree with that statement?

Tenderness is the new punk? I do. I kind of circle everything back to politics, my apologies. Especially with the current political situation, I definitely agree with that. A lot of people are being encouraged to view their fellow citizens as less than human, or subhuman, or less deserving, so I agree with that statement, fully. We are dealing with a lot of children right now who are being gobbled up by the manosphere and being taught extreme right-wing ideologies that are super sexist. There is a lot of pressure on young men to be hypermasculine, and there’s this association that hypermasculinity can’t be or shouldn’t be tender, or it shouldn’t be caring, or it shouldn’t show emotion other than anger.

Being so active online, and given your rise to fame, you receive a lot of hate. How do you deal with that?

I go outside. That’s part of the truth of the matter. I’m going to say shit I think is cringe and then people respond saying, “This is cringe,” and I know. That’s the point. Or they comment, you’re ugly. And I’m literally fucking gorgeous, what are you talking about? It doesn’t really affect me that much, to be honest.
I have a strong community. Making sure that your offline life is very stable so you can be fully present in it is very important if you’re going to have an online presence. What’s going on online is reality, but it’s not the totality of reality. Some people place more importance on what goes on for their presence online or what’s going on about them online than they probably should.

Jacket LOEWE, top and skirt REPARTO STUDIO.

Yet, besides the hate that you receive, when you speak out on your platforms, you also provide a mirror for others, especially in the trans community. Can you recall a specific instance where an act of sharing your own truth fostered a moment of genuine connection with a stranger?

I received an Instagram DM that was really sweet. It said, “I am a huge fan of yours and seeing what you’re doing has made me more confident in my own self and I realised that I am trans.” That one really got to me and made me emotional because I thought, oh my god, my stupid TikToks have made someone’s life better.

Are you getting to the point where people recognise you on the street and stop you?

Yes, I have. Okay, I have a funny story about that. I was crossing the street and some guy recognised me and then immediately pulled over in violation of the traffic laws to take a photo. He was really sweet so I thought, I’m not going to tell him no, but I did tell him: you have to park the car legally before I will take a photo with you (laughs).

Yeah, I’m not getting arrested over a selfie with a stranger (laughs).

Exactly! And I don’t want him to get arrested either. He was sweet though.

There are often harsh hypermasculine stereotypes associated with being punk or revolutionary. So as a trans woman, how does your existence and advocacy break down these traditional notions, proving that softness and femininity can be profoundly radical and punk?

Attributing any gender expression or any societal expectations of femininity or masculinity with punkness, which again, as you said, is what people are doing, doesn’t make sense because gender itself is a social construct and the expectations that go along with it are completely made up for the most part. Punk is often associated with anger, which is typically more associated with men. Being punk is being angry in the correct way. It’s being angry at the political system. It’s being angry for the people that are being fucked over. It’s letting that emotion out in a healthy outlet. And I don’t see how that should be defined by gender.

Tenderness is also often linked to joy, which can be an act of defiance in dark times. What are some small tender acts that allow you to reclaim your joy and humanity?

I paid for my roommate’s cat’s medical surgery, who had no insurance. It was quite a bill. But funny story. Oh, wait. I can’t share that. Never mind, I forgot she asked me to not reveal the details. I didn’t have to pay for that, but I did. I chose to pay like seventy per cent of the medical bill for my roommate’s cat. Mostly because I can do this now, so I did that.

Sharing is caring.

That cat still doesn’t like me, though, but I love him.

Let’s talk fashion, which we love. You did the shoot yesterday for the cover story. How was it? Did you feel confident in what you were wearing?

Yes, I did. I truly enjoyed it. Everyone on the team was really sweet, and they were very good at their jobs, which obviously I appreciate. I thought the looks were very fucking cool. The Issey Miyake ones were definitely my favourite.

I haven’t seen them yet, but if you say Miyake, I immediately love it. Speaking of Japan, you speak Japanese and went to Tokyo to study.

I don’t, I am not fluent. I’m not putting out there that I’m fluent in Japanese because I’m very much not. I do speak French fairly well. I know some Japanese, but I need to learn more. Eventually, on my bucket list is I want to get an N1 certification in Japanese. That would be really cool. Obviously, it wouldn’t be soon because I am so drowned out with work.

It’s a very complicated language. But you seem to have a passion for languages, I have read that you also know Korean and Spanish.

I studied a bit of Korean for a very small period. It was like a year, but I don’t speak it at all. And Spanish, I also studied for a very short period, just in college. I studied French very in-depth. At least I think I’m B2 level, closer to C1.

In the past, you’ve expressed your interest in becoming a translator. Is that still something you’re thinking about?

I did, that was my original plan in life, to become a translator. I was struggling with both doing modelling and college, so I dropped out for the time being. My grades very much slid. I was juggling too many things at once and I was finding it difficult to concentrate, so I dropped out to focus on my career. Fame isn’t permanent for everyone, and I recognise that this money is not always going to be flowing in, so my plan is to make money in the meantime and then go back to college.

“Being punk is being angry in the correct way, and I don’t see how that should be defined by gender.”

That’s great. I feel like our generation has been told a lot that we’re the most prepared: we control the digital tools, we speak more languages…

Wait, we don’t. Americans? You’re French, right?

No, I’m from Barcelona.

Your last name is Mauvais.

It’s an invented name.

That’s what I figured. I’m not going to lie, when I first came in here and I saw your last name was Mauvais, which means bad in French, I was really confused and slightly concerned.

(Laughs) No, I’m actually very kind and very tender. I did it for social media and then it stayed.

That makes more sense.

Back to becoming a translator. They say it’s one of the first professions that AI will take over, so perhaps you could think of something else.

Yeah, that’s what they’re saying. I don’t know. I mean, probably, eventually, that will happen. However, AI is not very good right now, and it’s a lot worse than people say, in my opinion. We’re in an AI bubble, which is probably going to crash the economy sometime. In my opinion! Allegedly. Don’t sue me. Because all of the AI companies are just investing in each other and buying from each other, so their mutual stock goes way, way up. And like ninety-two per cent of US GDP growth was just from AI last year (Jason Furman). And the products are not living up to what was hyped up. Ninety-five per cent of companies that use AI saw no increase in productivity (MIT Study 2025). So combine that with the super inflated valuations of all of these AI companies, and it’s certainly not looking good.

Let’s focus on your current job: modelling. This season, you debuted at both New York and Paris Fashion Weeks. What was that experience like?

It was very cool. Nerve-wracking as shit. I’ll be honest, it was scary. It was horrifying at first. I was shaking the entire plane ride. I was so, so nervous. But I did it. And whatever I put out there, I can’t take back for better or for worse. And I’m glad it happened.

Would you like to repeat it?

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Every runway made me want to do another one, to be honest. My favourite one was the one I was covered in beetles. That was really cool.

Another gaggy trans model that we see everywhere is Alex Consani. Are you friends with her? Did you meet her in New York perhaps?

I don’t know if we’re friends. We had an interview together once, and then we have not really met up in person at all. I would love to at some point. I mean, I’m sure we’re going to cross paths eventually. She’s really cool. Obviously, I look up to her. She’s the head of the industry and she’s trans, which is really impressive. She’s one of the heads or faces of the modelling industry at this point and she’s doing great work. I have nothing but positive things to say about her.

When you see that she’s doing shows such as Victoria’s Secret, which suffered a lot of backlash some years ago because of their lack of inclusivity, do you see the fashion industry catching up or just profiting?

Victoria’s Secret is one company, but overall, we have seen noticeably less diversity than in recent years, especially with plus-size models. It’s very hard for them to get jobs now. I remember someone was talking about this, saying that the average percentage of plus-size models in shows is much smaller than three or four years ago. I would like to see more plus-size inclusion in the modelling industry, especially because, obviously, the pressure to be eighty pounds is insane. It’s the reality of the industry but it’s not reality. It’s a reality I would like to change or be changed.

Yeah, when inclusion was, let’s say, trendy, brands started to pay attention. It’s what people were demanding. But now, as people are voting for right-wing politicians and going more conservative, all these companies don’t care anymore — be it fashion or any other industry.

Ultimately, people forget that a company’s main objective is to provide profits to its stockholders. A company does not have feelings and it is not a person, no matter what social media will lead you to believe — it doesn’t matter if Wendy’s marketing team is cracking jokes. Ultimately, companies are not people; they are made up of people. But their only goal is to provide money for their shareholders. There are exceptions to this rule obviously. Well, I feel like company is a bad word, it’s not the word to be using. Corporations is a much better word. Because there are businesses that genuinely do care about inclusivity and are putting pressure to change that. But these giant mega corporations like Wendy’s… Wait, that’s a random example. I’ve never even eaten there; they make horrible food. I’m just thinking of them because their marketing team is really good and it’s at the top of my mind. I’m going to talk about a different corporation like Walmart or Amazon. They are not people.

I know you’re a bit geeky and that your name comes from your favourite character in “Paladins.”

Okay, wait, wait, wait! For the record: Vivian was not my favourite character in “Paladins!” I just liked the name and I saw it on a character. The reason why I’m making such an effort to contradict that is because Vivian was the most fucking annoying character in that entire game. She was so frustrating to go up against, she was so easy to play. For anyone who played “Paladins,” I was a Willo, okay?

Do you still like playing “Paladins?” What other video games are you into lately?

I haven’t played it in so long, I should get back into it, it’s fun. I really like it. I also used to like “Smite,” which was by the same creators. I play a lot of “League of Legends” now; it’s definitely my favourite game at the moment. Unfortunately. If you play it casually and you don’t let it get to you, it is genuinely a really fun game. The problem with it is that everyone takes it way too goddamn seriously! And I’m not super here for that, I’m just trying to fuck around and have fun.

Online video game communities can be very toxic.

I don’t think being competitive is toxic; the way in which a lot of “League” players are competitive makes it toxic. Many of them blame everything else on their teammates and cannot emotionally handle that. Even if it’s the fault of their teammates, why are you yelling at them? They know they fucked up, stop. You’ve been that teammate, why are you yelling at them? I don’t know. What is yelling gonna accomplish? I don’t understand the mentality, it makes no goddamn sense to me. A lot of “League” players are very strange. But there are also a lot of really cool people. I play casual, sue me. The people who play casually are generally a lot more chill.

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you are is my advice.”

Another passion of yours is drag. When you spoke with Sasha Colby in an interview (famous drag queen and winner of Season 15 of RuPaul’s Drag Race), you told her that had you not been such a huge spectator of drag queens, you wouldn’t have felt so comfortable in your femininity. So, what was it like getting into drag after transitioning?

I performed for Pattie Gonia as a drag queen. I dressed up as a femme boy, which I guess is drag. I don’t know if that’s technically drag, but it’s fun. Doing the Pattie Gonia show was super amazing, and very cathartic. I wanted to do drag for a while, so getting the chance to do that and have fun on the stage with a bunch of people who also love drag, do drag, are huge fans of the same things that I’m a fan of, and stand for the same things that I stand for — that meant a lot for me. That was a really, really amazing experience and I would love to do it again. Actually, I have another drag performance that’s coming up, I should mention that. I can’t reveal anything but I am doing a performance with my friend and it’s going to be very unhinged, which I guess is to be expected from me at this point.

That’s as much as you can tell?

That is as much as I will tell. I can tell you whatever I want, but I will not tell you.

I respect that. I would like to know what words of wisdom or encouragement would you offer to a baby trans person who is struggling with their identity and navigating this hostile world?

The best advice that I can give you is that it will get better. Being early in your transition is fucking horrible! There’s no way around it: it’s uncomfortable, you feel horrible in your own body, and you’re still going through the processes to get HRT and everything like that. But it will eventually get better, you just have to hang in there. And also, don’t let anyone tell you shit! You are that bitch; you will forever be that bitch. Show them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you are is my advice.

I know your mother was very supportive when you came out as trans. Did she give you any advice?

It was okay in my instance. It was a lot less traumatic than for most. My mum was very chill about the whole thing, which I truly appreciate. I mean, she was visibly not surprised. She kind of saw it coming.

A mother knows.

When I came out as a gay man originally, in eighth grade, before I transitioned, so I guess not a gay man but a gay boy, my mum was like, “I know.” That was funny. And yeah, later she was pretty chill about the trans thing, which I appreciate. Honestly, I appreciate being chill a lot more than making a huge deal out of it. I don’t like people being super extra about my identity, at least in my real life. But also, the people that I am friends with are basically all trans or queer in some way, so there’s no reason to make a big deal about it, I guess.

To finish it off, now that you’re doing a lot of interviews, is there anything that annoys you about being asked or something that you’re never asked and would like to be asked about?

I think it’s very easy to guess what questions would have annoyed me.

Well, I didn’t ask about that.

You didn’t, no, but a lot of people do. I don’t want that because I like talking about it on my own and of my own volition; if I have something to say, I will say it. I like to do that when I feel I have something to add to the conversation. And something I’m not asked enough is questions about “League of Legends.” I love it! I don’t know how this would happen because, how the fuck is some random interviewer supposed to know that I like “League of Legends?” But I would love to talk more about it.