LSDXOXO

I feel like it’s a merging of my sonic worlds, you know, I definitely find that as I’ve stepped into the more singer-songwriter side of what I do, I’ve been working to bridge the gap between those two worlds, because they do kind of exist in two different spaces in my head. The approach and songwriting especially, it just feels like a different muscle, I guess. I’m definitely trying to find a way to bridge the gap and have everything feel cohesive. And I feel like a lot of that work was done with this debut album, but it’ll be happening with things to come as well. Now that I’ve sort of developed myself a bit more as an artist, especially as it pertains to songwriting.

In terms of live performance, I’ve definitely broken a lot of the newer stuff into the set. There’s reworks and remixes of certain tracks that I feel work better in more of a club space, as opposed to in the studio or at home listening. I think there’s a space where these things come together nicely, and right now I’m working from that space. With my live performance, especially, everything is very high octane, charged up sexually and a bit cheeky. That’s always the kind of music that I’m performing, to be honest, and I feel like that element of what I do is always there.

I feel like there have been times where I’ve been a bit confined to the DJ experience without having any sort of performative element to it. But now I’ve stepped into that world of things I find that even when I DJ, I try to have a microphone handy, or there’s always a little choreo happening behind the decks, or climbing on the decks, or whatever just to bring the performative elements of LSDXOXO, into the DJ side of what I do. DJing used to be a way for me to express myself through music without having to do too much within performance or do too much in terms of putting myself out there because honestly, I’m naturally quite a shy person, or I was before, at least. I feel like I’ve worked through a lot of that, within my artistry, more just for myself, but it shows in how I perform my music too. I’m proud of that. It’s nice to feel like I don’t have to be protected by the decks anymore.

No, I’m not over it, it’s just a different experience, one that I sometimes prefer; it just depends on my mood in a given moment. And sometimes the spaces or crowds that I’m playing to just call for that more cerebral experience that isn’t so performative.

It’s more situational. In an exhibition or museum, or maybe a fashion thing, I’m there to focus on the music and provide a soundscape for a more social environment, as opposed to being at the centre of the stage and basing everything around my own image. Sometimes it’s more appropriate to not make the moment about you.

Well, the titling of the project alludes to some of the subject matter. I do come from a very structured background that is also quite religious, and I think that’s why a lot of my work has become so reactionary, because it’s just my answer to that super restricted upbringing, and a lot of my artistry was fighting against that at the beginning. With the titling of the project, there was a lot of subject matter regarding this background and removing myself from organised religion, not so much from spirituality, but from the organised way of approaching it. And so, the title was more speaking to my interest in the sensationalised image of the religious figure. I feel like I’ve always equated religious figures or social figures to pop stars. There’s always this intense imagery applied to everything, and they all have massive followings of people who are super, super influenced by them, and the ways that they present, and that’s always been something that was quite intriguing to me. With the titling of the project, that was more playing around with that side of things.

Yeah, hopefully people will look at the album as a vulnerable project, with the subject matter of the music, and a lot of wording used, it’s a space that I have never gone to before. Before I was just producing and so there wasn’t much of my story being written. Obviously, it was being presented through sonics, but as I grew as an artist and figured out what I wanted to say, I naturally wanted to go in a more vulnerable direction, just because I always like to put all of myself on the plate. The takeaway from this project for people who have consumed my music in the past would be for them to come out of the listening experience with more of an understanding of me, and just to feel like they know me a bit better.

It’s not that I’ve been conscious not to overshare, it’s more that I’ve had to work through nerves that I had in relation to sharing myself as an artist. But I’ve definitely worked through a lot of that and that’s why I was so comfortable going into this project with a bit more of myself on the line. Like you mentioned with songs like “Brand New”, there’s this back and forth with the vulnerability of what’s being written versus how it’s being performed. But I’m quite conscious of that vulnerability and openness not overshadowing my sound because ultimately what I do is always going to be quite tongue in cheek. I always want to have that sense of humour, regardless of what I’m talking about because it’s always been what makes it special.

I mean, it’s changed since I’ve been more of a studio artist over the past year or so, because generally I’m a bedroom producer through and through, and that’s even how I’ve approached songwriting. I started the development of this album just mumbling things and taking voice notes without any real ideas. Over time it would take just a day or two to write some tracks, but then others took form over the span of two or three months. I tried to study song structure a lot more so there was a lot of research and then trying to apply that to the songwriting process. I’ve got a lot more efficient with it. If I’m in the studio with another artist or producer I might write two or three songs in one session. The work I’ve done has definitely helped with songwriting and that continues into the entire process because it’s easier to perform music when you have that confidence in creation. 

It’s definitely been a journey on the efficiency side of things, but, like you said, sometimes there’s a bit too much freedom with being your own label, and luckily, I have Because Music helping me with everything, and I have their infrastructure to reinforce some of those deadlines that I have. That’s helped because having too much freedom can really just not be a good thing for an artist who struggles with time management. But even then, there’s always a struggle because as a musician, as a producer, and especially as someone who wants to have things as perfect as possible before they get put out, sometimes you just hold yourself back in doing that, because something could be ready, and you’re just sitting on it forever because you’re second guessing for no reason. And it’s nice to just have other people saying when something feels right and encouraging you to press the green button with everything.

It was definitely a lot more about deadlines. They’re an indie label but they’ve amassed quite a following and so there are certain things that are expected of you when you sign with them as an artist. You don’t have too much freedom to hold back or delay things. It was a nice exercise having to pull myself together in a smaller time frame, but ultimately that’s maybe not the structure that works best for me. I do need a bit of freedom, not only in the process but also in how I want the music to come out. Sometimes with labels there’s only certain times of the year that you can actually release music. For me as an artist, if I finish something and I feel really strongly about it, I want to just go with it. I don’t want there to be six months between finishing something and then this drawn-out process of a rollout strategy. That was something that really messed with my head as an artist, just sitting on things for so long. You really have to be married to the music when you put it out, so you have the conviction to sell it. People aren’t stupid. If you, yourself, aren’t buying into the music you’re putting out then nobody else is going to either.

Unfortunately, that’s just the game you have to play sometimes. You just have to find a way to fall back in love with pieces of music. In those instances, it’s your work and ultimately you do love it, but as artists we always want to be creating and getting things out. If you’re a songwriter, a lot of what you do is therapeutic, in a sense, and so you want to always be telling your current story or the next one, not a story you already lived through and want to move on from. So, it can be a bit tricky, but there’s definitely ways to do it.

Yeah, for sure. There’s directors like Gregg Araki or Pedro Almodóvar, I just really like art house, but also horror art house, party horror and really freaky films.

I’ve not seen it yet, but my Discord is really ringing my neck to go see it. I’ve got to find time to go to the cinema. But I’ve seen a few movies in the last few weeks, also horror stuff that really satiated me. You know, I definitely am very drawn to the cinema and specifically the horror genre of filmmaking.
So with that video, me and Griffin are both cinephiles through and through. We met in Berlin about four years ago and became really good friends instantly. But also, we had a lot of movie watching marathons, and we had a very similar taste in film, and I saw some of his work. From very early on we were expressing interest in working with each other. We spent some time to gather references and figure out what music it would be that we would do the video to. And I think with that video, my first reference was actually “Run Lola Run” (1998), because in the video, there’s this spiral wheel being spun around, and I have a red wig on. The original concept was going to be me, in this action thriller, as a character who’s been chased by a love interest. That then blossomed into this cat and mouse game between me and my love interest in the video, who ends up kidnapping me. And so, we had the idea to adjust and have the main reference point as “Saw” which is one of my favourite series of films. It was just pretty fun to have the whole mechanics of redoing a “Saw” scene with Griffin, because he just went in and built that set with his own hands. It was really something to see. The whole head trap was created by him. It was just really inspiring to see someone really take the reins, within their craft, and express all their talent. I felt like I had to show up for him and perform through that character. It was really fun to be honest.

It’s a peculiar one for sure. I feel like the more time you spend here, the more you hate it. But I’ve spent a controlled amount of time here, so I feel like my experience of it has been mostly positive. Whenever I’m here, I’m just in the mood to create, in the mood to just park myself in the studio, do any sort of nature things that I am not getting when I’m in other cities, like New York or Berlin. I don’t have the opportunity to do these things when I’m not here so it’s nice to do a bit of hiking. Because it takes forever to get anywhere, I feel like you have to be a bit more intentional with your social interactions in L.A. and that makes it more fun for me. If I was to move here, I probably would have a completely jaded perception of this city, and probably would hate it a lot more. But mostly, my experience has been good. I just feel like I’m in a movie when I’m here.

That sounded good. My French accent isn’t the best, I’m going to butcher it right now.

Yeah, I was attending as a guest. Usually, they do really good after parties and I played one before about two years ago. But they didn’t do one this year, so I just attended the show and it was really good. I had a good time. That was my first time doing the full Paris Fashion Week situation, instead of just popping in and out. I attended a few shows, played some after parties. It was very high in energy, a lot of intensity happening, and very packed events as well. Parisians know how to party for sure.

I feel like it’s not changed so much over time. It’s sort of just grown up with me, if that makes sense. As a person and as an artist, I’ve always expressed myself through how I present. How I dress, or do my makeup or my hair, is very closely aligned with my artistry. That’s just because I like my artistry to feel like an extension of self; it’s never too removed from how I am day to day. That’s why when I explain my style it sounds as if I’m describing my music, because I like to have those two things very woven together. 

I feel like my style doesn’t necessarily align with how Germans or Berliners necessarily express themselves through clothes. Their style is very structured and severe and very dark, and some of that definitely lends itself to how I express myself through clothing and how I present, but I’m a bit more playful and colourful than how they approach things, so I guess that’s where my style differs from theirs. A lot of my stylistic choices come from the time that I spent in New York as well as the South. Paris is definitely one of the best dressed cities, but Berlin has a very unique sense of style, that comes from a lot of the dark dungeons, spaces that you spend your time in, and the genres of music that are popularised in that city. Those things definitely inform how people dress, even through haircuts, accessorising, and things like that. It’s all a form of connection to the nightlife and the genres of music that are popular.

Oh, you’ve got to try at least once. Or maybe not nowadays, not to make that into a whole thing (laughs). I can’t say I’ve ever tried to do the whole Berghain style thing; I’ve always just focused on being authentic and hoping that that’s what gets me through the door. 

I always feel like when I perform in a space like that, I want people to leave feeling like they’ve learned something. Obviously, I’m not there to teach, but part of what I do as a DJ is to not just have everything feel so phoned in. There’s a certain responsibility to put people onto the artists who influence me, and ultimately Black female voices in music have been my biggest inspiration. So, no matter what, if I’m DJing to a hip-hop crowd, or a ballroom crowd, or one of the biggest techno clubs in Europe, I’m always going to have that responsibility. There’s a time and place for everything but if I’m given that kind of stage, I’m not going to step down. But unfortunately, when you play that game, sometimes that game plays you, and that’s what happened to me in that case. I feel like the forewarning they gave me was ultimately to protect me from their crowd, because they knew what the blowback would be. But obviously it wasn’t the whole crowd, you know, people had a blast. To this day people tell me that they were inspired by that set, but there were other people there who expected a certain experience from a space like Berghain and didn’t appreciate having that flipped on its head. But if someone’s going to flip something on its head, it’s going to be me. I think now as I move into this next phase of artistry, I’m a bit more careful with thing the things I’ll say yes to. If I’m not going to change how I express myself then I need to only experience spaces that will allow me to do so without creating a hostile atmosphere. Now it’s about being a bit more selective and intentional with what I do.

That’s what one would think, right? My approach to dance music generally falls under that more experimental umbrella and you would think that a general openness would be applied to how it’s perceived, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable when they’re unable to categorise things. It’s just surprising to have that kind of limitation of expression when it comes to something as silly as dance music, that’s not typically meant to be so heavy, in terms of both subject matter and how it’s ingested.

 I don’t want to pit the two cities against each other. They’re two completely different experiences. I understand why things are more widely received in New York because it’s just a different culture, a different story. There’s a lot more structure applied to music making and music expression in places like Germany, and that’s the cultural background of the place informing how these things happen. I appreciate that and it’s why I moved there to begin with, to apply that structure to my music. The areas I came up in were all about genre bending, having this very raw form of expression and not really applying so much technicality to it. And while I love that, I wanted to move into something that felt a bit more grand and a bit more rehearsed which is why I moved to Berlin. Music is consumed differently in New York and Germany and that’s the reality. Both cities have their charm, and both cities have positives and negatives when it comes to music making and nightlife.

For a multitude of reasons, honestly. Ultimately, I didn’t move to Germany to live there forever. I always figured there would be a point where I would move back home or onto the next city. I’m just quite a nomadic person and I’ve gone through a lot of the growth that I wanted to go through in Berlin. It surprised me, to be honest, because when I left, I didn’t really expect to go back anytime in the next decade, I was so over being there. I wanted to just have a different lived experience. But I’ve had that now and since leaving, New York has changed quite a bit. The scene is so different there, and everything feels very raw and exciting. The city has inspired me so much as a person and if I can move back and maybe help the scene in a certain way, mentor some of the newer artists and have a certain level of familiarity between me and them, I think that’s really exciting. The sense of community there is just unfathomable. It’s really unmatched. Also being closer to my family and friends is something I wanted to prioritise right now. Those are my main reasons for wanting to go back home.

Oh Philly is 100% always going to be my home! I just don’t refer to it as much as home now anymore, because all of my family, at this point has moved away. So, I don’t really go there ever, except for a show or to visit friends from high school and things like that. I’m definitely a Philadelphian through and through, but I just have more connections to New York now. The bulk of my family and close friends in the States pretty much live in New York. I have a few homes, but New York is definitely one of them. 

The plan is definitely to take a bit of a break. At this point, I’ve gone pretty much, you know, balls to the wall for the last like two years, with every other project bleeding into the next. It’s paid off for myself and my label, I’ve been able to achieve a lot of things we set out to do in a small period of time, but as a person I do need a break.
What’s funny is that when I finished the album, and we wrapped up the rollout strategy, I just told myself I wasn’t going to go to the studio. I was going block that time off, and then as soon as I finished the rollout, I had such a massive amount of inspiration to make a new body of music and then I finished an EP in like a week. So now we’re kind of just sitting on that but trying to understand when and how to release it, because, you know, we all need a break. It’s important as an artist to take things in when you release them, so that you can really appreciate the moment and not just look for the next achievement, because that’s ultimately not why I do this. I make music because it feeds my soul, and it’s very therapeutic for me. Sometimes I have to remember to congratulate myself for these achievements. It’s important to carve out the time to be appreciative.

Believe me, I will be sleeping in that city!