October and The Eyes

I just received my new 12-string Eko guitar I bought second hand, so that’s exciting! I’m teetering on the edge of an acoustic foray, I fear.

I was lucky enough to be born into a musical family. My mother is a pianist and music teacher, and my father a big music fan. The combination of the two meant there was always music playing in the house — I was so accustomed to constant noise that I couldn’t fall asleep unless the radio was playing. I guess the beginning of my own songwriting expedition starts as a bored 12-year-old who decided to start messing around on my brother's laptop with Garage Band when he was out of the house, and so there it was: I accidentally taught myself how to produce beats. Flash-forward five years later as a 17-year-old and I’d upgraded to Logic and learned a lot more about production and arrangement and what I think works via trial and error. The rest is history!

I aim to turn on and disturb.

Whether you’re into fashion or not, you’re taking part in a form of self-expression, one that indicates who you might be as a person, what you’re into — it’s almost tribal. Beyond that, I have a real appreciation for the design and craftsmanship that goes into making garments and I have always been a huge fan of Ann Demeulemeester. Ever since I started earning my own money, I'd save up until I could afford to buy a piece second hand on eBay. From there, I’ve built up my Ann D collection piece by piece over the years, so the fact that I was asked to collaborate with them on their wardrobe collection left me wide-eyed and wild. Pinch moi!

I mean, the clothes are basically designed for the bohemians, poets, artists, and musicians of the world. They’re romantic and dark and sexy in an understated way. Whenever I’m wearing Ann D, I feel elevated beyond my own boring mortal shell and become the manifestation of the brooding artist I’ve always dreamed of becoming. It’s transformative.

Leather clad layabout.

Oh they are so different. I exist in the fashion industry as a model. To me, it is just purely work. I never wanted to be a model, it’s an entirely superficial and meaningless job to me. To have any worth derived purely from how I look (something I have no real say over) has always felt uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for the opportunities that have come my way, because it pays far better than any show I’ve played or record I’ve made. But for me, it is just work. Music on the other hand is my entire existence, my lifestyle, my all-consuming passion.

At the moment, I’ve been really into putting cheesy gated 80s drums with classical and folk acoustic guitar. And then adding 60s psych organs, but processing them in a sort of 90s industrial way. Anything goes in my books!

Nova Express by William S. Burroughs is certainly a mind-bending read. Anything by J. G. Ballard is always horrifically good, but Crash in particular has to be my favourite, followed by The Atrocity Exhibition. The kind of sci-fi I’m into has to be like, weird, sexy and disturbing — being made to feel uncomfortable is important.

Hmm I hadn’t really thought about that, but I guess you’re right! This probably is a result of the writing and recording process. I produce, record, and arrange all the songs myself at home, so this usually involves lots of percussion samples I put together to create the rhythm section. The songs are then taken to the studio for the band to record the instrumentation, but we end up keeping a lot of the audio from the older lo-fi demos and Frankenstein it all together. So, you’ll be hearing not only the found and electronic drum samples I initially laid down, but also my drummer Jordan’s live takes. I also always want my drums mixed super loud in the mix — I want it to feel as if you’re almost listening to it live.

There’s lots of echo delay across the vocals and the guitar, which I think creates quite a disorientating dissonance when you start to crank the feedback knob. The warping and melting organ part sounds like something out of a horror film. There’s also this mono synth that just arpeggiates between two notes throughout the entire song, but by the end of it I’ve opened the filter on it wide open, and it starts to sound like an alarm call ringing out. The arrangement is stacked and busy with a lot of different things happening at once. It’s quite overwhelming to listen to, really. It’s the confusion, the disorientation, the feeling of being overwhelmed, and panicked that I was aiming for.

It’s a constant pendulum between feeling desensitised and feeling alarmed. Life moves at such a nauseating speed for me that it’s enough to keep me distracted for the most part. I have no healthy habits, so I’m the wrong person to ask for wellness advice, I’m afraid.

I’m about to lock myself away for a few months like a goblin in a cave and continue writing without aim. I’m just throwing anything at the wall and seeing what sticks at the moment. Watch this space, I guess!